Friday, September 17, 2004

From Our Didn't Pay Attention In Class Files

Didn't Do His Homework Posted by Hello
This afternoon, one of our confidential sources contacted us in an effort to confirm a whisper that "Home Alone" star Macaulay Culkin had experienced some sort of run-in with The Law. Sure enough, our old friends over at The Smoking Gun had the sad tale. It seems that Culkin had been arrested this afternoon for possession of A Certain Illicit Herb and a Prescription Drug for which had had no prescription.

Obviously, Macaulay was not paying attention in "How To Be A celebrity 101." If he had, he would have learned the lesson that Rush Limbaugh did: get one of your housekeepers to buy the dope for you, and that way you are insulated from having the mugshot, perp-walk, and spending hard earned cash on bail bonds. As an extra bonus, you get to blame the housekeeper for your "habit," and earn all kinds of sympathy from the public.