From Our Didn't Pay Attention In Class Files
Didn't Do His Homework
This afternoon, one of our confidential sources contacted us in an effort to confirm a whisper that "Home Alone" star Macaulay Culkin had experienced some sort of run-in with The Law. Sure enough, our old friends over at The Smoking Gun had the sad tale. It seems that Culkin had been arrested this afternoon for possession of A Certain Illicit Herb and a Prescription Drug for which had had no prescription.
Obviously, Macaulay was not paying attention in "How To Be A celebrity 101." If he had, he would have learned the lesson that Rush Limbaugh did: get one of your housekeepers to buy the dope for you, and that way you are insulated from having the mugshot, perp-walk, and spending hard earned cash on bail bonds. As an extra bonus, you get to blame the housekeeper for your "habit," and earn all kinds of sympathy from the public.