Saturday, January 22, 2005

Idiot Judge Arrested For Entertaining Self On Bench

This one takes the cake. Meet ex-Judge Donald Thompson, 58, who was forced from the bench last year for his "indiscretions" in Creek County, Oklahoma courtroom. He has now been been arrested for what he done, while conducting criminal trials, in the presence of juries. These "indiscretions involved," among other things:

  • Using a certain kind of pump that is of an......intimate...nature while witnesses were testifying in open court.
  • Distracting juries from the business at hand (while he took care of his own business) with the pumps "whooshing" noises. (They said it sounds much like a bicycle pump.)
  • He deposited evidence in a wastebasket under his bench. (The offending receptacle was later seized for evidence. heh.)
  • Using oil for a Certain Intimate Purpose while seated on the bench while witnesses were testifying.
  • Shaving Certain Body Parts while in the courtroom

Sworn affidavits from clerks, trial witnesses, and a court-reporter were used to secure the indictments. (The Smoking [our souce] has all the details.) Thompson has been charged with three counts of indecent exposure. If convicted, he could face up to 10 years in prison.

I seem to remember a song about this that was once sang by Shorty Long....

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