Teresa Watch: Weekly Roundup 10/03-10/09

Asset Or Liability?
Sunday: On Matt Drudge's evening radio program, Drudge warns Greg Craig that should he make the mistake of calling Teresa a "Bushie," he should expect a slap across the face. EdWonk called the police to report this threat, but was told that there had already been numerous complaints filed against Teresa, and that they would keep "an eye on her."

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported (Monday) that on Sunday Teresa was fundraising in Greensburg, Pennsylvania. Teresa said, "The Taliban is back running Afghanistan." (Your EdWonk does not think that Teresa was paying attention in class when she was in "Truth and Accuracy 101.")
A British newspaper,The Guardian reported that several demonstrators brandished placards marked "Stay Out Of Greensburg, Witch" as she came into town. It is not known if any of the demonstrators mysteriously transmorphed into toads.

Monday:
On the CNN morning show, there was much prattle about a hypothetical debate between First Lady Laura Bush and Wanabee Lady Teresa Heinz-Kerry. The EdWonk cringes at the thought of the First Lady having to listen to what would certainly be another Teresa Tirade.

In the late afternoon, Teresa delivered a speech at the Teamsters' Temple in Lawrenceville, Pennsylvania. The Education Wonks are curious to know if the Temple needed a cleansing after Teresa's presence. How painful it must have been for a blue-blood of her caliber to actually set foot in a union hall.

Tuesday:
In St. Louis for her husband's debate this Friday, today is Teresa's 66th birthday! She did not celebrate with some glitzy invitation-only-over-produced party infested with Hollywood Liberals. Oh No! Not in this election year. She has to at least pretend to tolerate ordinary people. Teresa was given a special surprise in the Goody-Goody Diner in St. Louis:
How Many Candles?

Wednesday:
On today's broadcast of the Dr. Phil Show, Teresa and her husband were both guests of the doctor and his wife. This particular show was taped September 18th for broadcast today. You can read about it at USA TODAY, but Fox News produced a montage that was truly hilarious.

New Buddies



Thursday:
Your EdWonk was alerted to the existence of an actual "Teresa For President" web site. You can go there, if you dare, at: www.teresaforpresident.com
It has been rumored that for much of the day Teresa was preparing for tomorrow's debate by getting some "work" done at a local country club. This "work" is said to involve toenails, fingernails, lips, but not hair. A Confidential Source close to the Kerry Campaign whispered that the real reason behind all the primping was to keep her from pestering the candidate about the "servant problem" at one of their five homes. (Rumour has it that the Nantucket beach house is under-staffed.)

Friday:
It was noticed byThe New York Times that Teresa was sitting with a very strained expression on her face after smilingly shaking First Lady Laura Bush's hand before the debate. At the conclusion of the debate, we are blessed with seeing Teresa hugging her husband, and seemingly avoiding Mrs. Bush. As at the other debate, Teresa was wearing white.

Saturday:
CNN just can't help itself. Today it had to re-run its profile of John Forbes Kerry. We were able to see (once again) and hear (especially hear...a little too much) Teresa tell the audience about how rough it was for John to attend an exclusive boarding school in Switzerland in the 1950s.

Swiss Air
Teresa was in transit to New Mexico, where her husband will be preparing for next Wednesday's debate.

INFORMATION WANTED: The Education Wonks is seeking verifiable information from confidential sources concerning the number of servants employed in the Kerrys five homes. Please send tips via Wonkmail to: edwonk@educationwonks.com