Friday, November 19, 2004

What Caused The Death Of Terrorist Arafat?

Dead In Bed!
The Commissar is curious to know what actually caused the long-overdue death of Terrorist Arafat. He is not alone. We too are very interested in this deepening mystery. We believe that there is more than meets the eye.

Even though we here at the 'Wonks freely admit that our knowledge of the medical arts is somewhat limited, we do have some grasp of the Human Condition that comes from many years of working among teachers, parents, and young adolescents.

Normally, it would be premature to speculate in any possible conspiracies. However, the case of Terrorist Arafat is nothing like "normal." We think that there is every possibility that Arafat was destroyed by something other than "natural causes." The most likely possibility would be some kind of slow-acting poison, administered over a relatively long period of time.

Who benefits the most from the death of this minion of Satan? Several Candidates come to mind.

His so-called "wife" Suha will inherit hundreds of millions of dollars in stolen United Nations aide money. She continues to block any official inquiry into Terrorist Arafat's demise. This behavior alone is reason for suspicion.

Various Young Turks in his terrorist organization are desirous of "taking over" his leadership and getting their hands on whatever millions can be gained by further graft and corruption. They feel that they have waited long enough for their master to die.

The Israeli Mossad was finally able to administer a dose of justice to this creature. Even though overdue, the long-arm of justice might have finally caught-up with him.

President Bashar al-Assad of Syria needed to have Terrorist Arafat removed in order to extend his influence into the West Bank and Gaza. It is in al-Assad's interest to keep the area de-stabilized and both the Israelis and Americans distracted.

Arafat offended/demoted one of his henchmen, and the motive was simply one of revenge.

Regardless of the reasons (if any) behind the extinction of Terrorist Arafat, we here at the 'Wonks think that it was over 40 years too late. He should have had some dance lessons with a rope.