Labor Day Refresher Courses

School on Labor Day
Here we find your typical American public school closed for Labor Day. There are no bells, no whistles, no running in the hallways. Teachers and students (presumedly, or hopefully) are away in pursuit of lawful happiness.

Because the building is not being used today, it would be an excellent opportunity for some of those that may not have been paying attention in class to go inside and get some much-needed refresher courses in some of the basics. (Your EdWonk would be most happy to serve as school monitor.)

Democratic Nominee John Kerry:
Kerry needs to take an introductory course in how to adopt a position and stay with it. Because he is always trying to say what any given audience wants to hear, Kerry can't stay consistent. This has probably damaged his electoral chances beyond repair. The name of the course that he needs is "Avoid Being labeled As a Flip-Flopper 101."

President George Bush:
Mr. Bush should definitely sign up for a course on admitting mistakes. We know that Bush is in need of this class because when asked earlier this year to name a decision that he wish that he had made differently he could not name even one. The catalogue names this class as"Being A Grown-Up 101."

U.S. Education Secretary Rod Paige:
Back on February 23, 2004, Secretary Paige referred to The National Education Association as a "terrorist organization." Even though your EdWonk is no friend of any teachers unions (and of the N.E.A. in particular), even he knows that the N.E.A. is not a terrorist organization. It is a legalized syndicate that takes its members money away from them and then does not account for it. Paige needs to enroll in "Real Terrorists Threaten To Use Real Violence 101"

National Education Association President Reg Weaver:
As stated above, Weaver does not run a terrorist organization, but a legalized syndicate. The Notoriously Liberal N.E.A. is guilty of a multitude of sins: it continuously raises its dues, spends millions on parties, lobbying, expense accounts, and high salaries for union officials. Its leadership answers to no one, as members never get to vote on anything. Dissent is not tolerated. Weaver is in urgent need of taking "Democracy 101."

California Teachers Association President Barbara Kerr:
Another unelected President of a spendthrift legalized syndicate, Kerr needs to take a class on when and to what candidate to give her union's endorsement for any given election. The C.T.A. endorsed recalled Governor Grey Davis, who went on to lose to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Next, C.T.A. endorsed Howard Dean, who went on to lose to John Kerry. And of course C.T.A. has endorsed John Kerry, who will go on to lose to George W. Bush. The class that Kerr needs to pass is called, "Backing The Winning Horse 101."

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger:
For the most part the Governor gets high marks. However, like all other governors before him, Mr. Schwarzeneggar has been unable to reduce the hordes of education department bureaucrats that infest various state, county, and district offices. The Governor should consider enrolling in "Cutting Redundant Bureaucrats 101."

Hurry! Classes are being held in a building near you.

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